FINALS SEASON! A time of stress, procrastination, and reflection. I lost motivation approximately one day in (aka Reading Day). This year I had 3 finals: nutrition, calculus, and chemistry. Let me tell you, the last two had me STRESSED.
Final Exam #1: Nutrition
It went pretty well. Our professor told us the exam would be a combination of old exam questions and content we hadn’t yet tested on. So I did the only logical thing: make a 266 card Quizlet and attempt to memorize all the potential answers. Let’s say that was easier said than done. I had been working on this Quizlet for four days and did not finish until ONE AND A HALF HOURS before the exam. Then I proceeded to go through the Quizlet ONCE before the exam. And at that point, it was in God’s Hands. I walked into the exam kind of nervous yet calm. Then I opened the exam to 141 questions and my jaw dropped. I even remember quietly chuckling to myself. But it turned out fine. I was actually pretty confident in my answers.
Final Exams #2 and #3
Not applicable.
Oh wait, I think I skipped a chapter…
So I got COVID-19.
And I’m vaccinated.
And I planned on getting my booster over break.
Oh, the silly plans we make.
My COVID-19 Experience
Yeah, definitely not the greatest thing to cap off finals season. It was the Monday before my last two finals and I woke up sweating with a throbbing headache and aching muscles. I had a feeling I probably had the flu since it was running pretty rampant in Athens at the time and I didn’t want to risk waiting. So I went to the University Health Center where they did a COVID-19, Flu, and Strep test on me. And of course COVID was the only positive test.
I started crying. I couldn’t get air into my lungs fast enough. I called my parents and told them what happened. I was stressed because I still had to take two finals. I was stressed because (I know it’s silly) I planned on deep cleaning my dorm and doing all my laundry before I left for break. I was stressed because my flight home had to be canceled. I was stressed because my body often has uncommon adverse effects to viruses. I was stressed for the people that may have also contracted it around me. I was stressed because I had so much planned for break–Christmas lights, seeing friends, watching Spider-Man and West Side Story, getting baptized.
My plans.
Not God’s plans.
My plans.
I think that’s something we often forget. We often plan, and plan, and plan. But we forget Who has planned out every second of our lives. We often forget Who is in control.
The God of this Universe loves us so much that He made a beautiful plan for our lives. Not to bring us destruction and ruin, but ultimately, joy and peace in Him.
"For I know the plans I have for you” — this is the LORD’s declaration — “plans for your well-being, not for disaster, to give you a future and a hope." ~ Jeremiah 29:11
Hope
So as I sat in a crusty quarantine house, I had time to reflect and write this post. I said thank you Jesus that my professors were understanding and made accommodations for me in January. I said thank you Jesus that I am not suffering from worse symptoms and that my family was coming to take me home soon. I said thank you Jesus because I can’t see what You’re doing and how You’re moving, but I know it is part of Your plan and I trust You will deliver me from this and I will grow closer to You through this.
Our “failures” and “disappointments” are never “failures” and “disappointments” in God’s Eyes. They are all part of His grand plan for our lives. An insignificant human failure, or catastrophe, or mishap, or virus will not derail the plan God has for you. It will not take away from it. You will still end up where you were meant to be–where He intends for you to be in the end. Why? Because He loves you so much. So much that He knit you together in your mother’s womb. You were not merely made. You were knitted in a beautiful labor of love. And that love was profoundly expressed on the Cross when Jesus laid His life down for you and for me.
"For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother’s womb. I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well." ~ Psalms 139:13-14 (I really recommend reading this whole Psalm, it is a beautiful depiction of God's heart for us)
I’ve mentioned this scientific study that discusses how anxiety and gratitude cannot coexist in the brain in my previous blog post. When you feel your world is imploding, say thank you for what you have. Count your blessings and say “well, this sucks, but you know what, it could be far worse.”
